I am an Olympian! I am pretty awesome… I made it to the most prestigious competition ever created. All my trials and tribulations I have gone through never slowed me down to my goal. I am a fighter and I had to work to get there and it was worth it. Less the 1% of people can say they have gone to the Olympics. It is so incredible being one of these elite athletes. Also to experience the games with the ‘6pack’ was amazing! These girls are the best people I could have ever asked for to be my teammates. Being a part of the Canadian team and to wrestle in front of screaming fans was pretty incredible experience.
Wrestling has taken me around the world! I have found a love for travel I don’t think I would have found otherwise. As much as I love to travel, I also love being home. It feels great to be back living in Saskatoon. I finally have some down time. Trying to find my spontaneous side; I am not every good at it. Life is about memories and experiences. I will die with memories, not dreams.
The Olympics did not finish the day I competed. It did not finish on closing ceremonies. It did not finish when I got home from the games. Wrestling is in my blood. Competition is in my soul. Determination is in my heart. The dream of the Olympics is inside me forever. The journey has no destination nor end, it only finishes a chapter. Like any good book you can’t wait to start reading the next chapter. The only problem is where does the chapter begin? Do I continue wrestling? Do I move on to new challenges? Who I am without wrestling? So many questions no way to make a decision anytime soon…
On my journey to the Olympics there has always been an end goal. A destination. A desire. A dream. An outcome. Whatever positive spin you want to put on my journey; I did not reach my final goal. I did not spend the past 10 years trying to go to the Olympics; I have spent them trying to WIN the Olympics. I did not go to the Olympics to be a participant; I went there to be a competitor. I went there to stand on the podium, represent my country and hear the Canadian National Anthem. I failed. I fell short. I feel like all my sacrifice, injuries, hard work, determination was for nothing. I let myself down.
Right now all I see is the ugly because I am so passionate and driven for that one goal but I know in the end I will see only the good side of my journey. Everything takes time. I would never take back any of my decisions, sacrifices nor injuries; I would do it all over again! I'm so proud of what I've accomplished and everything it has taught me. If wrestling or being an Olympian were easy everyone would do it. I am not everyone I am less than 1%. I deserved it.
I am not depressed, nor am I sad; I am just disappointed. I did not go for the glory or fame. I went because I love wrestling. There is nothing better than working for something you are so passionate about! I am lost without a plan or a purpose. When planning is all I've done for the past 10 years, I don't know my next steps. It is weird not to know but it is so exciting to know this experience will give me many option and opportunities in the next part of my journey. In the end I know the outcome does not matter, it does not change who I am or what the sport has given me.
Are you done wrestling?
I do not know if I am done wrestling. I know I emotionally cannot handle any more injuries for a while. But I also know I do not want the Olympics to be my last competition I ever compete in. I need to step away from the sport for a few months and then re-evaluate.
What are you doing now?
I have a small plan! I would be lost without one. September I am trying to organize my new life back in Saskatoon. Which includes finding tenants to share my house with me, unpack, get furniture, etc. October and November, I will be traveling in SE Asia. After so many years of thinking of wrestling first I finally am going on a holiday. I think I deserve one. December I will start to become a ‘normal’ adult. I have a job lined up with Craven Sport Services. I cannot wait to be a part of their team. January I am hoping to get my puppy! I will have to wait and see.
How does it feel to be back in your house?
It feels amazing to be home! There is a sense of pride living in something you own; something you have worked for. I just wish it didn’t take 1 month for my cable and internet to be hooked up or 6 weeks for my furniture to get here. I will feel more settled in December when everything starts to feel more cozy.